Do You Love Me?

Principles for Daily Living Pt 3

Do you love me?


That’s what every heart longs to know. We are wired with a need for love. As believers we’ve been called to love, to love God and love one another.


“Teacher, which is the great commandment in the law?” Jesus said to him, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. ‘This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ On these two commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets.” Matthew 22:36-40


We began the week reflecting on principles for daily living. If you missed Part 1 or Part 2, click the links to catch up on those. In part 1 we examined our relationship with God, part 2 our relationship with ourselves and here in part 3, we’ll look at our relationship with others.


The Believer has been COMMANDED to love one another. So here are a few principles to help guide us in being in healthy, vibrant loving relationships with others.

sibling love

Love Like Jesus

Christ loves us with an agape love. Agape love is a love that expects nothing in return. It is a self-sacrificing love. It is a love that gives and gives and gives some more. It is a love that does not hinge on the actions of the receiver. It is an unconditional love.


You see, in my natural, agape is not me. My love is conditional. When my son immediately obeys, oh how my heart soars. I can pat his shoulder, be chatty with him, and make direct eye contact with him. But if he doesn’t immediately obey, depending on my current spiritual and emotional state…well let’s just say its conditional love. Since my expectations of obedience weren’t met I might withhold an affirming touch, I might be short with my responses, I might be harsh, or I might either give the stare down or avoid eye contact all together. I’m not proud of this. But the power of the Spirit in me is assisting me in having more wins than losses in this area. I’m a work in progress.


And Jesus has helped me through this process by showing me His people through His eyes. He’s shown me what ‘kind love’ and ‘not rude love’ looks like.

heart door

The heading of this chapter in my bible is called the Greatest Gift

 Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil;  does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8



Unforgiveness is bondage. Holding unto something that someone did to you is toxic to your physical, spiritual, emotional and mental well being. I had a family member for whom I harbored hatred and unforgiveness for many years. When I thought about this woman I would physically become agitated and my emotions would rage. I was hurt, confused and frustrated with how I had been treated by her. I was not her only victim either and I wanted justice for everyone in our family that she wounded. Then one day, even before I was saved, God whispered to me, “And hating her is helping you how?” That got me to thinking. Then slowly He revealed to me that she had done the best she could given her own issues and background. I then purposed in my heart to forgive her. What a huge relief it was for me. Even though I did not have a long dialogue with her about all of my feelings, the change had taken place in my heart. Less than a year later, she passed away. I am so grateful I was afforded the opportunity to rectify that in my own heart and with her personally.


And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins. “ Mark 11:25


Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” Luke 23:34



I am a servant. My husband doesn’t care much for that choice of word but I’m cool with it. I don’t see it as having negative connotations. I do not liken it to being subservient. I count it an honor to be able and willing to serve those who I am called to serve. If you ask one of the Kingsland Kids “What’s something your mom always says?” They are quite possibly going to answer, “Serve others before you serve yourself”. Now this is not to negate yesterday’s word on self-care. Self-care and self-love are required in order to effectively serve others. Once you’ve filled your spiritual tank, you are adequately fueled to pour back out. God gave me a MAJOR revelation in this area a few years back and it’s become a way of live for me. I was praying after the birth of my 3rd baby. I was asking the Lord for a supernatural measure of grace. He led me to 2 Corinthians 9:8 And God is able to make all grace abound toward you, that you, always having all sufficiency in all things, may have an abundance for every good work.

Mmm. I thought that was a great promise from Him indeed. Then He whispered to me…”Something will be required of you”. So I follow that scripture up a little bit and here’s what it said But this I say: He who sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and he who sows bountifully will also reap bountifully.  So let each one give as he purposes in his heart, not grudgingly or of necessity; for God loves a cheerful giver.

2 Corinthians 6-7


I’ve seen Him grant grace upon grace when I selflessly give.

2014-01-23 11.55.39

Give one more hug
Read one more story
Wipe one more tear
Give one more ride (even though I’ve been in this car for hours)
Send one more text of encouragement
Cook one more meal for a friend in need


Then he cemented this truth later by leading me to 1 Kings 17 and examining the story of the widow at Zarephath. She was preparing to take her last bits of oil and flour to make bread for herself and her son before they died. The Prophet Elijah asked her to make the bread for him. She obediently served the man of God and her flour bin and oil jar did not run dry! There’s a reason to shout right there. When we serve, God will return to us what we’ve poured out. Serving (for the right reasons and in the areas where we’ve been called) will not leave us depleted.


help each other


My husband has helped me learn a very valuable life lesson; there is more than one way to complete a task. I used to believe only my way was right. I used to believe there was only ONE route to the destination. Can we accept that there is more one way to do a thing? Can we accept and value other’s thoughts, opinions and ideas? Can we accept that each of us is fearfully and wonderfully made to be different, act different and think different? Love accepts people for who they are where they are.

T&T hearts

Surrender Your Rights

“My husband offended me. I have a RIGHT to be mad!” “This jerk just cut me off on the road. I have a RIGHT to aggressively drive closely behind him” (while spewing expletives). “I’ve worked hard all day and I’m exhausted. I have a RIGHT to go to sleep at 9 pm” (while my sick baby wants to be held).


Guess what? No! You don’t have a right. If you are a follower of Christ, when you said yes to Him, you said no to your self-seeking self-serving desires. You surrendered your rights.


Then He said to them all, “If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow Me. Luke 9:23


The above scriptures from 1 Corinthians tell us that loves does not seek its own. In believing you have a RIGHT, you are seeking your own. But the scripture is clear, love does not seek its own.


Extend Grace

Above we see that God can make ALL grace abound toward us. Will we be cul-de-sacs of grace and let it come to a dead end or will we be conduits of grace and let it flow to THEN through us. When my daughter was 6 she left me a note that I still have and it says “Thank you Mommy for giving me grace. I messed up but you gave me grace. Thank you. I won’t do it again. I love you Mommy.” Now what the “IT” was that she did, I cannot remember. But she understood, even at age 6 that grace was not only available but given to her and she received it and repented. And how can we extend grace? We can do some of the above: give unconditional love, forgive, serve, accept, and surrender. Additionally we can admit when we’ve made a mistake, say I’m sorry, use gentle kind words, soften our expressions and body language, and show mercy.


I wouldn’t have guessed that this would be the longest of the three posts in this series. I would have thought I’d have more to say about the guiding principles for relationship with God. But what God spoke to me at this very moment is, “I love you. I simply do. Now go and love my people. “



As always, it is my prayer that you’ve been Inspired To Live Fully!

Happy to connect with friends @ #livefree Thursday

9 replies
    • Tyra Lane-Kingsland
      Tyra Lane-Kingsland says:

      Suzanne it is an honor to connect hearts as we encourage the body. And when I wrote this post I was hesitant to include such personal pictures but did so in obedience to the Lord’s promptings. Looking forward to connecting again as we press toward the mark and #livefree

  1. Stacey Thureen
    Stacey Thureen says:

    I appreciate your transparency and honesty. Such great reminders! I really appreciated when you said, “When we serve, God will return to us what we’ve poured out. Serving (for the right reasons and in the areas where we’ve been called) will not leave us depleted.” I also appreciated what you shared about Luke 9:23. Amen. Amen. Stopping by from #LiveFree link-up.

  2. Tina
    Tina says:

    Such beautiful words of love and grace. Thank you for this encouragement today, Tyra! Your posts always convict and bless me in ways a short comment couldn’t possibly explain. So happy we were #DanceWithJesus linky neighbors today. God bless, Tina


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