What Every Mama Needs To Know About Balance

With wind and a cold mist peltering his face like a zillion little bullets, daredevil Nik Wallenda became the first person to walk a tightrope directly over Niagara Falls. Taking the 1,800 feet trek, 200 feet above the falls, Wallenda teetered and swayed as he took careful steps in an attempt to maintain balance in order to reach the other side.

 

Mamas, do you ever find yourself perched precariously above treacherous waters, bearing a heavy load all in an attempt to make it safely to the other side?

 

Do you ever bear the weight of caring for your children, meeting your boss’ expectations, satisfying your husband in the bedroom, caring for an aging parent, and bringing food to a neighbor who just had a baby? And all that was happening within the first half of the day. WHEW!

 

Then factor in round two of returning an emails to the teacher, attempting to put a half way decent meal on the table, finding someone’s jersey for practice, pulling beans out of your baby’s ear then remember you forgot to pay a bill and today was the last day before cut off.

 

Mamas, you manage a dozen or more moving parts, ALL at the same time. Where’s the balance in that?

 

The notion of “balance” summons an image of perfectly executing ALL my responsibilities, ALL in perfect order, ALL the time. It looks like being everything to everyone, doing everything for everyone and looking cute and wearing a smile while doing it. And somehow mamas, we’ve bought into this LIE!

 

Yes. There, I’ve said it. The notion of balance we’ve been told is a lie. We’ve been sold a bill of goods that is no good for our mental, physical and emotional health. We’ve been shamed into thinking if we cannot “balance” all of our many responsibilities, all at the same time that we are bad mommies.

 

Well, I’ve come by to shed the light of TRUTH on that lie.

 

You very well may be capable of achieving some super human mommy feats of greatness. But it is unrealistic to believe you have to do ALL things well, ALL at the same time.

 

Trying to achieve balance can become a fruitless pursuit of an elusive goal if you’re not careful. Click To Tweet While it is great to have an ideal that you’d like to achieve, ensure that the pursuit is rooted and grounded in seek the Kingdom first. Also ensure that the pursuit is even realistic and attainable given your time, energy and resources. And beware of fall into the pit of perfectionism.

 

It is in embracing our imperfection, in knowing our limitations and in being realistic with our capabilities that we can truly achieve an attainable semblance of balance. Yes, “I’m every woman, its all in me” as Chaka Khan and Whitney sang. But I don’t have to be everything, to everyone all at the same time.

 

So what do you do?

 

Assess Expectations

Reassess your expectations of yourself. Are they realistic? Are you setting yourself up for success or failure with the demands you’ve placed on yourself?

 

Windows Of Opportunity

Have you made realistic goals for what you hope to achieve based on your time, energy and resources? I know you’ve planned to wash, dry, fold and put away 4 loads of laundry today but if you’re only home 4 hours in the evening IT AIN”T GONNA HAPPEN. Realistically there is not enough time so don’t sabotage yourself with unrealistic goals. Now I am a high achiever and believe in setting lofty goals, but we want to position ourselves for success and that requires an accurate assessment of what can truly be done given what we have.

 

Let It Go

Here’s another good one for you to think about. What can I let go? What is a level B or C that I can put off for another day, delegate or eliminate entirely?

 

Mamas, I know first hand the delicate work of trying to achieve and maintain balance. Surrender it all to Him. Allow the Lord to direct your steps as you seek to honor Him with your time and efforts. Free yourself from the trap of perfectionism and walk in the freedom of knowing you’re doing the best you can with what you have. (And to those who could be more disciplined, the Lord can help you too).

 

The eyes of the LORD search the whole earth in order to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him. 2 Chronicles 16:9a

 

As always, it is my prayer that you’ve been Inspired To Live Fully!

 

Happy to connect with these friends sharing the Good News Mommy Moments, Purposeful Faith, Chasing Community, Grace and Truth

8 replies
  1. Tiffiney/Welcome Home Ministry
    Tiffiney/Welcome Home Ministry says:

    Hi Tyra, How true it is that we women take on more than we can handle because our expectations are unrealistic. Thanks for sharing your strategies on how to get a handle on this. Stopping over from Grace and Truth.’

    Tiffiney
    WelcomeHomeMinistry.com
    P.S. I really enjoyed reading your “about” page.

    Reply
    • Tyra Lane-Kingsland
      Tyra Lane-Kingsland says:

      Tiffiney,
      So glad we know the TRUTH and the truth shall make us free so that we don’t have to feel obligated to be and do everything. Thanks for checking the about me page. I often chuckle at the “well-scripted” life people tend to display because frankly I think real life with all of its high, lows, laughter and tears is much more interesting. Blessings to you new friend. Looking forward to connecting in the future.

      Reply
  2. Brenda
    Brenda says:

    Oh, the ever-elusive “balance.” I’m seeking it myself these days. Thank you for these tips, Tyra. I think, more than anything else, the thing that gets in my way is my *own* expectations! I need to first let those go, then I’ll be more able to let go of anything else that needs to be culled. Good word today, Tyra. Thank you for sharing. ((hug))

    Reply
    • Tyra Lane-Kingsland
      Tyra Lane-Kingsland says:

      Brenda,
      Indeed we have to examine our expectations and bring them under the subjection of Christ’s will. When we know we’ve done the “needful” things, we can rest easy with the surety that all is in balance. Here’s my divine ah-ha….we’ve been told that doing everything and being everything to everyone is BALANCE. But what I see from nature is opposites equal balance…work/rest done/undone joy/pain….therein lies balance. Thanks for visiting friend.

      Reply
  3. Sherry
    Sherry says:

    Tyra,
    Such a wise post. I have to continually check myself in this. I’m not good at determining how much time a project takes and struggle to leave one undone at night’s end. This is the third post I’ve read today talking about that so I think God is trying to speak to me about my time management. Praying you too discern His best over your plans for each day.
    ~Sherry Stahl
    xoxo

    Reply
    • Tyra Lane-Kingsland
      Tyra Lane-Kingsland says:

      Sherry,
      Don’t you just marvel at the way God speaks? Are you ever so grateful for the myriad of ways He will confirm His truth to us? Sweet friend I give thanks that through this repeated message He seeks to set you FREE. No self sabotage. If you accomplish 2 things today: dressing and eating count it a success 🙂

      Reply

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