So much of parental life is consumed with meeting temporal needs. Endless piles of laundry, shuttling children to and from activities, cooking meals, you know the drill. Not to mention adding in the amount of time, energy and effort expended in trying to get children to DO things they really could care less about or to get them to STOP doing things they are perfectly content with. Perhaps you\u2019re ready to blow a gasket because you\u2019ve told your pre-teen boy for the millionth time that he needs to shower daily. And you can\u2019t recall how many times you\u2019ve told your toddler not to jump on the furniture. While requests for showering and not jumping on furniture are reasonable, they do not serve as an investment in connecting with the hearts of our children.<\/p>\n
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The job of parenting finds us doing many seemingly important things for our children. But we want to be cautious to not miss out on the needed<\/em> thing. Just as Jesus affirmed that Mary had chosen the better part, let us choose the better part and that is connecting with the hearts of our children.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Shuttling kids to soccer practice, hurrying up to get them to choir rehearsal, and rushing them off to bed, may be required at times but can have a way of choking out meaningful interaction. So how do we connect with our children when most of our daily interactions are moving them through to the next activity? We\u2019ve got to be PURPOSEFUL<\/a>!<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Nobel Peace Prize recipient and novelist, Toni Morrison appeared on an episode of Oprah\u2019s Lifeclass<\/a>. On the show, the prolific author dispensed this wisdom,<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s interesting to see when a kid walks into the room\u2026\u00a0does your<\/em><\/p>\n face light up?\u00a0That\u2019s what they\u2019re looking for\u2026when my children used<\/em><\/p>\n to walk in the room when they were little, I looked at them to see if<\/em><\/p>\n they had buckled their trousers or if their hair was combed or their<\/em><\/p>\n socks were up\u2026so you think your affection and your deep love is on<\/em><\/p>\n display cause you\u2019re caring for them, it\u2019s not. When they see you they<\/em><\/p>\n see the critical face\u2026what\u2019s wrong now? \u2026But then if you let your face<\/em><\/p>\n speak what\u2019s in your heart. Because when they walked in the room I was<\/em><\/p>\n glad to see them. It\u2019s just as small as that, you see.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n <\/p>\n She so eloquently illustrated the difference between meeting temporal needs and maximizing on the opportunity to connect with the heart. Oprah went on to say that one of her biggest learning lessons of the early 90’s was that the\u00a0common denominator in the human experience is that everyone wants to\u00a0be appreciated or validated. Given that, what are we teaching our children by spending so much energy on things that may not matter in five years, much less ten? How many moments will we have missed? How many hugs would not have been shared? How many smiles would have been deterred?<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Will our children feel connected, loved,\u00a0if the words we dispense are focused on what they haven’t done right, what they aren’t doing or what they’ve done wrong?<\/p>\n \u201cYou haven’t\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou aren’t\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhen will you ever\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou can\u2019t\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou won\u2019t\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cDon\u2019t\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cStop\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n Yup, I\u2019ve said them all too but I\u2019m learning to do better. It requires reframing the dialogue. \u201cWell what CAN I do then?\u201d That\u2019s what their hearts want to know. Purpose to fill their hearts with what they CAN do. Let us connect in ways they can perceive and receive. Research Professor, Dr. Brene Brown<\/a> says, \u201cWe are hardwired to connect with others, is what gives purpose and meaning to our lives, and without it there is suffering.”<\/em> Will you help minimize suffering by proactively connecting with the hearts of your children?<\/p>\n <\/p>\n We connect with children by being adults who are vulnerable, humble and gentle.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n We reach them through open communication, connectedness, inviting them, listening with the heart, knowing them and encouraging them.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Let\u2019s pray!<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Eternal one and lover of my soul, thank you for always extending yourself and seeking to connect with my heart. I pray that you will open the eyes of my heart so that I will be available to my children. Enable me to connect with their hearts through purposeful interactions. May I present myself gentle, humble and vulnerable so that they feel I am approachable. May I keep my eyes and ears open so that I can learn who they are and know them deeply. May my words be filled with grace. May I be intentional in maximizing upon opportunities to communicate with them. Knit me closer to my children now and evermore.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n <\/p>\n For the practical steps on how to reach them, order a copy of my new book PURPOSEFUL PARENTING<\/a>, available now on Amazon.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n As always, it is my prayer that you\u2019ve been Inspired To Live Fully<\/em>!<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Happy to connect with these friends sharing the Good News Mommy Moments<\/a>, Purposeful Faith<\/a>, Chasing Community<\/a>, Grace & Truth<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" So much of parental life is consumed with meeting temporal needs. Endless piles of laundry, shuttling children to and from activities, cooking meals, you know the drill. Not to mention adding in the amount of time, energy and effort expended in trying to get children to DO things they really could care less about or […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[16,1],"tags":[164,778,147,163,761],"class_list":["post-4749","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-home-life","category-real-life","tag-children","tag-connection","tag-love","tag-parenting","tag-purposeful-parenting"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.inspiredtolivefully.com\/staging\/4119\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4749","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.inspiredtolivefully.com\/staging\/4119\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.inspiredtolivefully.com\/staging\/4119\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.inspiredtolivefully.com\/staging\/4119\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.inspiredtolivefully.com\/staging\/4119\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4749"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.inspiredtolivefully.com\/staging\/4119\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4749\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4753,"href":"https:\/\/www.inspiredtolivefully.com\/staging\/4119\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4749\/revisions\/4753"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.inspiredtolivefully.com\/staging\/4119\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4749"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.inspiredtolivefully.com\/staging\/4119\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4749"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.inspiredtolivefully.com\/staging\/4119\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4749"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}