04Mar
Tyra Lane-KingslandHome Life, Nourishing Life, Real Life

Cut Your Cooking Time In Half

Do you want to save time? If so, keep reading.

 

 

It’s Wellness Wednesday here at Inspired Life. Last Wednesday we talked about how we spend our time and the need to redeem our time. If you missed that post, click here. Now I don’t want to just tell you what you ought to do without giving you some practical solutions. So here is a surefire way to cut your cooking time in half. The key is maximizing on inactive cooking time i.e. beans in the crockpot while you are at work = inactive cooking time.

 

[bctt tweet=”The secret to cutting your cooking time in half? Batch Cooking.” username=”inspiredfully”]

 

What is batch cooking? Batch cooking is cooking double or more the normal amount of an item then portioning and storing it for later use. The storing can be done in an airtight container and placed in the fridge if it will be used during the week or it can be bagged and frozen for use beyond a week.

 

Here are some of my staple batch cooked items:

 

Rice

Can it get any easier? Usually make 1 or 2 cups of rice? Well just double it.   Use half today for your dinner and store the other half. There are times I’m storing for use this week such as making rice for dinner tonight then having fried rice on Friday. Since I cook brown rice, which takes nearly 40 minutes; I’ve already saved myself over a half hour of work. If not using within the week, I will bag and freeze. Perhaps I have ‘Chipotle Bowls’ on my meal plan for next week. Bam, the rice is already in the freezer and ready to go. And speaking of Chipotle Bowls, my second staple batch cooked item…

 

Beans

This is one of the easiest things to make. EVER! Set it and forget it. At any given time I have at least 4 different types of beans in my freezer. Right now I’ve got black-eyed peas, kidney beans, black beans, pintos, and chickpeas ready for making a meal. When I cook them in the crockpot, I don’t season them at all because I may not know at the time what type of dish the beans will end up in. Will the kidney beans be used for Jamaican Red Pea Soup, Indian Curry Kidney Beans or Chili?

 

Quinoa

I always double quinoa when I cook it because I know I’ll use it sometime soon. In my house we eat quinoa in many different preparations:

~Served hot for breakfast topped with fresh fruit, nuts and maple syrup

~As a side dish

~In patties

~In soups

 

Casseroles

I try to keep one casserole type dish in the freezer. If I’m ever running late, having a rough day or want to treat myself to a day off cooking, I have something at the ready. This saves me from spending extra money on eating out and saves the extra calories, sodium and fat grams that often accompany convenience food.

 

The next item is not cooked in advance but prepped and is a huge time saver.

 

Onions

Most of the dinners I prepare call for an onion. Why not chop them in advance? I throw a few in the food processor to chop then I portion them into small Ziploc bags then place that in a gallon sized bag. You can do the same with celery, carrots or any other diced veggies you use often. It’s a huge time saver.

 

Here are some items that would serve you well in batch cooking. Let’s cut your cooking time in half. The next time you make any of these items, double the batch and freeze half.

 

Breakfast

~Muffins

~Scones

~Quick Breads

 

Lunch

~Lentil Soup

 

Dinner

~Brown ground meat and portion it to be distributed 3 ways:

Chili

Tacos

Spaghetti

~French Baguette (make and freeze)

~Baked Ziti

 

So the very next time you cook some rice, beans, or chili, remember to double the batch so you can redeem the time.

 

As always, it is my prayer that you’ve been Inspired To Live Fully!

 

Happy to be connecting with:

A Wise Woman Builds Her Home

03Mar
Tyra Lane-KingslandHome Life, Nourishing Life

Black Forest Smoothie

Dessert for breakfast anyone? Here’s your guilt free way to enjoy dessert for breakfast or anytime. The chocolaty goodness of this smoothie rivals even the most moist, dense, chocolate tall cake (and I love chocolate cake).

 

This rich decadent smoothie not only tastes good but also is good for you. It is chock full of vitamins, minerals and nutrients to nourish and fuel your body. The chocolate in the smoothie comes from raw cacao powder, not to be confused with cocoa powder, which is roasted and loses some of its vital nutrient power in the roasting process. Raw cacao powder is high in antioxidants. Antioxidants stabilize and destroy free radicals, pesky little byproducts that form when your body attempts to break down environmental toxins. Antioxidants are also known to reduce inflammation. While you may have heard that green tea was the way to fight these free radical, here’s another weapon to add to your arsenal. Iron, zinc, potassium and manganese too? Then throw in some spinach and chia seeds and this smoothie gets better and better. For more on the benefits of chia seeds, click here.

  

 When cherries are in season, I’ll use fresh but since I just can’t wait, I’m using frozen frozen. And I’ve taken the liberty to use shredded coconut in place of the whipped cream you’d traditionally have with this dessert.

 

Without further ado, presenting my new best friend:   

Black Forest Smoothie

 

1 cup unsweetened almond milk

1 handful of spinach

1 date pitted

½ cup dark cherries

2 tbsp raw cacao powder

¼ cup unsweetened shredded coconut

1 tsp chia seeds

½ tsp vanilla extract

a few cubes of ice

 

Place all ingredients in high-speed blender and blend until smooth and creamy. Enjoy!

 

As always, it is my prayer that you’ve been Inspired To Live Fully!

02Mar
Tyra Lane-KingslandHome Life, Real Life, Spiritual Life 17

I Surrender

“Yes”

 

“My Heart Says Yes”

 

“Yes To Your Will”

 

“I Surrender”

 

“I Surrender All”

 

“I Give Myself Away”

 

“Withholding Nothing”

 

These are the titles to songs I’ve sung time and time again. But as is the case with many songs we sing, we enjoy the melody, but do we allow the TRUTH of the lyrics to resonate in our hearts?

 

Do we ‘live out’ the words we sing?

 

In my heart and mind I’ve truly purposed to surrender ALL to God, withholding nothing. In my heart and in my mind I delightfully obey God. Yet I find myself in situations from time to time where my surrender has been usurped by MY wishes, MY desires, and MY selfishness.

 

I invite you all into my VERY private space for a moment. Please don’t judge your girl, just pray for me as I illustrate how I can vacillate with this issue of surrender. I am currently the mother of 5 children ages 11 and under. When I got married I planned to have one or two children, my husband and my career. After the birth of my second child, the Lord gave me CLEAR revelation that my body is not my own and was bought at a price therefore I ought to glorify Him in my body and that included my womb. So surrender my womb to Him. That means that I do not have control over my fertility, reproduction, etc. He does. When people ask, “Are you planning to have more {children}?” my answer is, “I don’t know. His will be done”.

 

While I’ve surrendered my womb to Him, there are days when I literally tell the Lord, “Dude, 5 is good. You hear me? Five is good”. Those moments when I can’t even pee in peace without the two year old barging into the bathroom, while I hear the 4 year old climbing the shelves of the pantry and the 9 & 11 year olds are arguing all the while a pot is burning on the stove. All I want to do is pee in peace. Lord help me, 5 is good.

 

Yet I look affectionately at the cute pregnant lady walking past me in the grocery store and I feel the emptiness of my womb and wonder, “Will there be another?” My children declare almost daily their longing for a baby sister. They’ve already named her and have a bed ready for her. Each month that I get my cycle is fraught with emotions of relief mixed with a twinge of disappointment. Then if the cycle is a day or two late, I may get anxious with thoughts of how it could really work. How would I manage? Do we have enough money for another baby? I’d need a new car. What about this business I am trying to grow? And on and on.

 

So you see, even after placing my womb on the altar many years ago, I’m prone every now and again to want to try to run back to the altar and pick it up and run as fast and far as I can in the opposite direction. Even if I don’t pick it up, I may stare longingly, devising plans on how to retrieve it, or trying to negotiate with God on partial surrender (which by the way isn’t surrender). As I said, pray for your girl.

 

How then do we ‘train’ ourselves to obey? How do we surrender?

 

We hold fast to the TRUTH.

We meditate on the truth.

And what is the truth?

 

Jesus is the WAY, THE TRUTH and THE LIFE

His WORD is TRUTH

 

When the feelings of “5 is good” come up I tell myself the truth saying:

~If I keep my mind on You, You will keep me in perfect peace

~Every good and perfect gift comes from You

~Children are a blessing and the fruit of the womb is a reward

~I’ve never seen the righteous forsaken nor His seed begging bread

~You will supply ALL my needs according to your riches in glory

 

Then Jesus gently whispers,

“If you love Me, keep My commandments.” John 14:15

 

He also reminds me that when I do what He says, He will make my way prosperous and I will have good success. In this, He knows I may be weak, fearful and uncertain so He reassures me not to be afraid but to be strong and courageous.

 

This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate in it day and night, that you may observe to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success. Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:8-9

 

 

So I cry out to Him in prayer:

 

You Lord are the Grand Weaver. You see all the strands and intricately weave them together to fashion my story. You pull the tapestry taut as you skillfully make me a new creation. You shed, pick and beat-up as you let off and take up so that I shine without spot or wrinkle. I am weak God. The current of life pulls me in and out. But you Oh God are my anchor. I surrender what I am, to become who you created me to be. I thank you for never leaving nor forsaking me. I thank you that you will be with me until the end of the age. Lord I’m feeling squeezed on every side but I turn my pressure into praise. I thank you for ministering grace and for moving your truth from my head to my heart. Now Lord grant me your peace as I walk out the path you’ve set before me.

 

To be who He created me to be requires a daily dying to myself. As a disciple, I take up my cross daily and follow Him. And in my everyday life that translates to delightfully obeying Him with a heart of surrender. I surrender. As in the above example, while the thought of a new baby is all at once thrilling and scary, I redirect my attention back to His word.

 

A few years ago, the Lord impressed upon my heart, “True disciples…OBEY”.

 

If you are a disciple, a close follower of Christ, do what He tells you to do. Though it may be difficult, He duly equips you. He doesn’t just say, “Follow Me” then runs off and leaves you. NO. He says “Follow Me” then He leads you in paths of righteousness, His rod and staff comfort you, He teaches you along the way, He orders your steps, He knows your uprising and your going down. When you purpose in your heart, Lord YOUR WILL be done, He sends ministering angels to strengthen you.

 

He withdrew about a stone’s throw beyond them, knelt down and prayed, “Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done.” An angel from heaven appeared to him and strengthened him. Luke 22:41-43

 

For me it’s an undisclosed number of children. For you it may be your job, your marriage, your mind, your ministry, your health, your children.

 

In what area(s) is He calling you to surrender?
In what area(s) is He calling you to obey?

 

I want to join you in prayer so write your thing in the comment section below. Once you admit it, then surrender it, you can move forward in delightfully obeying Him.

 

As always, it is my prayer that you’ve been Inspired To Live Fully!

 
Photo Credit

Happy to be connecting with friends at:

Mama Moments Mondays Mom 2 Mom Purposeful Faith Front Porch Inspired Equipping Godly Women Dance With Jesus

 

25Feb
Tyra Lane-KingslandHome Life, Nourishing Life, Real Life, Spiritual Life 19

I Don’t Have Time

I don’t have time.

 

I don’t have time to exercise. I don’t have time to prepare healthy meals. I don’t have time to get adequate rest.

 

I get it. Believe me, I really do. If anyone is short on time, it’s me. I have a tribe of five over here ages 11-2, a husband that works a gazillion hours a week, I work in ministry and my spiritual gift is exhortation so I just HAVE to make time to share a word of encouragement. Most of our family activity: school, work, church, recreation is 30 minutes one-way from our home. I get it. If anyone doesn’t have time it’s me.

 

But let me pull out one of my old hats for a minute. I used to be a certified facilitator for Franklin Covey’s What Matters Most. In this workshop participants acquire skills for effective time management, improved relationships and peace of mind. And what I learned from applying these principles is this: we are all given the SAME amount of time; we CHOOSE how we’ll use it.

 

Well the Word says something about utilizing our time:

 

Therefore He says:

“Awake, you who sleep,

Arise from the dead,

And Christ will give you light.”

See then that you walk circumspectly, not as fools but as wise,

redeeming the time, because the days are evil.

Therefore do not be unwise, but understand what the will of the Lord is. Ephesians 5:14-17 NKJV

 

Don’t waste your time on useless work, mere busywork, the barren pursuits of darkness. Expose these things for the sham they are. It’s a scandal when people waste their lives on things they must do in the darkness where no one will see. Rip the cover off those frauds and see how attractive they look in the light of Christ.

Wake up from your sleep,

Climb out of your coffins;

Christ will show you the light!

So watch your step. Use your head. Make the most of every chance you get. These are desperate times!

Don’t live carelessly, unthinkingly. Make sure you understand what the Master wants. Ephesians 5:11-17 The Message

 

So I venture to say we don’t have a time issue but a time management issue. I will go on to say as the scripture says, walk as WISE and redeem the time because the days are evil.  The time robbers are all around us: electronics, busyness, lack of focus, and the like.  You know them because they’ve crept up on you a time or two.  They tried to rob me too, but I resolve to redeem the time.

 

Time for devotions

Time for building relationships

Time for love and laughter

Time for exercise

Time for rest

Time for preparing healthy meals

 

I dare you, the next time you are watching TV, are on social media, watching a movie or talking on the phone, set a timer. If you do, you’ll find that you DO in fact have some time. Yes preparing healthy meals will take more time than microwaving a hot pocket or toaster strudel, but the investment in yourself is worth the time. Do I have hours to spend working out? No. But at a minimum I try to get in at least 30 minutes a day (except Sundays).

 

And if we don’t take the time now to foster those things that matter most, they’ll be at the mercy of that which matters least. If we don’t take the time now, relationships will wither. If we don’t take the time now to eat right and exercise we can put ourselves in a position of spending more time in the Dr.’s office and pharmacy line.

 

Time invested on the front end will yield huge dividends in the long run. Your relationships will be the better for it as well as your health. Your overall mind, body and spirit will be properly nourished with your investment of time.

 

My plea friends is to encourage not to discourage, to inspire not condemn.

 

In what areas do you need to redeem the time?

 

Next Wednesday I’ll be sharing some ways you can redeem the time in your kitchen so stay tuned. If you aren’t currently receiving these posts in your email inbox, please subscribe to the blog so you don’t miss a thing.

 

Here’s an extra little nugget on redeeming the time.

 

As always, it is my prayer that you’ve been Inspired To Live Fully!

Happy today to be connecting with friends @

Missional Women

Equipping Godly Women

 

Photo Credit

23Feb
Tyra Lane-KingslandReal Life, Spiritual Life 18

Whose Arms Are You Lifting?

Four faithful companions. How long did they travel to set their friend at the Master’s feet? Did their arms burn after carrying their amigo an untold number of miles, then waiting an untold number of minutes, then hoisting him atop the roof, then peeling the ceiling apart to finally lower the paralytic down to Jesus. Isn’t this a great illustration for what the Word calls us to do: help the weak, show mercy, bear one another’s burdens, comfort, show care and concern and help in times of trouble?

Perhaps these friends had their own requests for the Master. Imagine finally getting a chance to see the long sought after Messiah! Indeed he was back in Capernum and they wouldn’t miss him this time. Perhaps they too had afflictions: a disabled child, a sick relative, out of work. But for now, their issues were of no consequence. Self-interests and comforts were set aside to assist.

 

How free are we to minister to the hearts of the hurting if we are TOO consumed with our own issues?

 

Whose arms are you lifting?

When the Amalekites attacked the Israelites, as long as Moses had his staff raised they won the battle. But such is life, we get weary, we get tired. It is in those troubling times that God sends the arm lifters, the burden bearers. Aaron and Hur came alongside Moses, propped him on a rock and held up his hands until sunset and they were victorious.

Again I ask, whose arms are you lifting?

While we are called to comfort, bear, and encourage one another the only one capable of entirely removing the heavy burden is Jesus himself. The companions of the paralytic did their due diligence in carrying their compadre before the Master but once there, the paralytic himself needed to trust and rely on Jesus not on friends for his healing. And it was his faith in Jesus not in his friends that ensured his healing.

That paralytic’s weight; physical, mental or otherwise was so burdensome it held him to his pallet. Like the gravity keeping you pinned to the steel cage on the Zero Gravity (aka Round Up) ride at the amusement park, His back clung to the pallet, only being delivered by the most powerful force, a word from the Master. O the thrill to get on my favorite ride at Canobie Lake Park in New Hampshire, the Round Up. The ride begins by spinning until the centrifugal force is enough to push you against the wall. By then, the friction between your back and the wall holds you there.

It is only by the power of the Holy Spirit that we can be ‘freed’ from the pinning gravity of the Round Up.

Your friends can carry you, they lighten the weight of your burden but the next step is up to you.

 

Cast your cares on Him for he cares for you.

 

Take His yoke upon you.

 

Trade with Him a garment of praise for a spirit of heaviness.

 

Your heavenly Father is waiting. He is your burden bearer. Unload your baggage, lighten up and experience His rest.

Back to our paralytic friend for a minute. The scriptures says he saw THEIR faith, not just the faith of the paralytic but that of his friends as well. While he only spoke to the paralytic directly, he may have rewarded the friends as well for their demonstration of faith. (Mark 2:1-12)

Thoughts to ponder…

Have you made yourself available to be a burden bearer?

Are you casting your cares on Him?

As always, it is my prayer that you’ve been Inspired To Live Fully!

Photo Credit

18Feb
Tyra Lane-KingslandNourishing Life, Spiritual Life 12

Being Strong In Spirit

Sunday at church I joined the congregation in high praise singing:

 

Be glorified in the Heavens

Be glorified in the earth

Be glorified in this temple

 

Jesus, Jesus, be thou glorified

Jesus, Jesus, be thou glorified

 

Worship the Lord in the earth

Worship the Lord in this temple

 

Jesus, Jesus, be thou glorified

Jesus, Jesus, be thou glorified

 

And as I sung, “Be glorified in this temple”, I knew the Lord was talking about my physical temple, my body as opposed to the physical church building.

 

My temple, this body of mine…presented as a living sacrifice holy and acceptable unto God.

 

The spirit of the living God takes up residence in this temple and whatsoever I do to my physical body, because my spirit, body and soul are one, impacts another part. To neglect my body, is to neglect my spirit, is to neglect my mind because after all they are one…three yet one.

 

The veil was torn. Jesus gave himself up. He was faithful to send the Advocate who now resides in you. You are the sanctuary that houses the spirit of God living in you.

 

Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? 1 Corinthians 6:19

 

After service, as I looked out at the sea of the congregants, I thought to myself “Are we as a body glorifying Him in our temples?”

 

And my answer to myself was no. It was and is so grievous to me that the body of Christ isn’t radiating as the salt and light of the earth when it comes to our health. I am nearly in tears as I type this. God has given me a tremendous burden to encourage his people to OBEY Him. I was speaking with Dr. Celeste Owens, Author, Certified Natural Health Professional and friend about the mandate God has given me to call his people to obey. I want to shout from the rooftop “OBEY YE THE WORD OF THE LORD!” And my friend, the good Dr. Celeste said to me, “Tyra in what area are we (the body of Christ) most disobedient? In our health and no one is really confronting it head on.”

 

Oh saints, we’ve got to do better. Oh how I weep for the body of Christ right now. I trust that the Lord has been whispering, nudging, prodding you to honor your temple. I implore you to harden not your heart and obey his voice.

 

Hear, Israel, and be careful to obey so that it may go well with you and that you may increase greatly in a land flowing with milk and honey, just as the LORD, the God of your ancestors, promised you. Deuteronomy 6:3

 

Those who love him, obey him. For those who have begun making incremental changes, I rejoice with you for each victory and I cheer you on as making the decision to choose well when it comes to consuming whole, nourishing foods is not easy. But by the power of the spirit that resides and works in you, you are more than a conqueror so stay the course.

 

So you must live as God’s obedient children. Don’t slip back into your old ways of living to satisfy your own desires. You didn’t know any better then.  But now you must be holy in everything you do, just as God who chose you is holy. For the Scriptures say, “You must be holy because I am holy.” 1 Peter 1:14-16

 

We will purpose to eat well. We will eat in moderation. We will enjoy tasty, nourishing foods yet we will be mindful that the Bread of Life is our unfailing source of nourishment.

 

Do not join those who drink too much wine or gorge themselves on meat, for drunkards and gluttons become poor, and drowsiness clothes them in rags. Proverbs 23:20-21

 

Even if you feel like you “eat right” the mental hold that food has over us can be great. Our fixation to have certain foods at certain times can also be a stronghold. I love, love, love Lindt’s Lindor Truffles, small round decadent individually wrapped balls of chocolate. I’d only eat one a night. Because I exercised moderation in eating just one I thought I was doing good until this one night. I was preparing to go to bed and I needed, just had to have that one Lindor ball. So as I proceeded to make that long walk downstairs to my kitchen, the Lord whispered, “You don’t need that.” To which I replied, ”Um, but I really want it.” He whispered, “Not tonight.” To which I replied, “It’s just one.” To which he responded, “Do you want the candy more than you want me? Find comfort and solace in me.”

 

OUCH! That one nightly piece of candy had become a source of comfort, joy and peace that I treasured and my attachment to it became unhealthy. Not too damaging to my body but interfering with my spirit. Needless to say, I haven’t had my beloved Lindor Truffles in over a year.

 

Our physical appetites warrant as much self-control as our appetites for lust, anger, and greed. We hear preaching from the pulpit on those topics but very little about our relationship with food.

 

Watch and pray, lest you enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak. Matthew 26:41

 

And food is so deeply rooted in church culture. Even the word fellowship has been watered down and has become synonymous with food. Sunday afternoons across America can find congregants gathering over hams, fried chicken, meat slathered in gravy, biscuits and baked goods galore.

 

Let us embracing being strong in spirit by being strong in body through consuming foods that honor the temple. For assistance in choosing well, check out these posts:

 

In order for us to have optimal wellness, our minds, bodies and spirits must be nurtured and tended; any one area left unkempt tips the scales. Can we truly embrace being strong in spirit yet neglect the body? I venture to say no. So what are we to do?

 

Consume foods that add to not detract from our health

 

Eat appropriate portions

 

Obey the Spirit’s guidance as to what an optimal diet is for you. As my friend Dr. Celeste says, God has a tailor made diet for each individual.

 

As always, it is my prayer that you’ve been Inspired To Live Fully!

Honored to be connecting today with my friends at Missional Women

16Feb
Tyra Lane-KingslandHome Life, Real Life, Spiritual Life 8

Lost That Loving Feeling?

Flowers wilting, balloons losing air, candy’s been eaten and stores have Valentine’s items on clearance. Is your marriage reflective of the post-Valentine’s current situation?

What do you do when your marriage has lost that loving feeling, now it’s gone, gone, gone, whoo ooh?

 

Well, first grant yourself some grace and know that you are not alone. The happily ever after romanticized love we see on TV and in movies is just that…a fairy tale. Rest assured, the feeling of being ‘in love’ will wax and wane. I think many people come into marriage believing that the amorous feeling of being ‘in love’ will last always and when those feelings are gone, they think they can walk out of their marriages. I think married people, counselors, friends, pastors, whomever is giving advice needs to paint a more accurate picture of the cycles and rhythms of the marital union.

 

This is not to say that I am not madly in love with my husband. He is my hubs, my boo, my sunshine. The dude still brings a smile to my face when I think of him. He is fun, flirty, humorous, lively, and seeks to make me happy. I often visualize us at 70, walking hand and hand in white linen on the beaches of Bora Bora and Tahiti. In fact, today I love him far deeper than I did when we first got married. But there are days….I tell you, Mmm, when the lovely dovey feelings aren’t there. Maybe he’s gotten on my nerves or made a decision I don’t agree with. What do I do on those days? How do you believe in the union when you aren’t feeling it?

 

Well, I recognize that the loving feeling is a chemical reaction. Over time you get used to it and it dulls. Recent studies show that when people are falling in love the brain releases a cocktail of chemicals including dopamine and serotonin that stimulate the brain’s pleasure center. That same research also indicates that period is just a phase and generally lasts from one to three years. When that phase is over, then what? When Eros, romantic love ebbs, here is where we have an opportunity to demonstrate agape, unconditional, self-sacrificing love. For more on agape love click here and here.

 

It makes me think of these lyrics by Earth, Wind and Fire, “Something happened along the way, what used to be happy is sad.”

 

Eros can come and go but agape is here to stay.

 

When Eros ebbs, don’t anguish over it. Remember that it is indeed just a feeling. But TRUE LOVE runs deeper than feeling. TRUE LOVE is action, not just feeling. TRUE LOVE demands honesty, forgiveness, selflessness, maturity, compassion, trust, understanding, empathy and the yielding of rights.

 

Let us not love with words or speech, but with actions and in truth. 1 John 3:18

 

Marriage is something that is living and breathing and needs to be fed and watered daily. What happens to a plant when it is denied sunlight and water? It shrivels and dies. Even if the plant has sufficient sunlight and water, salt, fungus and bacteria can leech in and impact its health. When the issues of life: money, children, extended family, trust, hobbies and other issues distract or detract from the marriage, how do you keep it healthy and vibrant?

 

Brick by brick you erect a love that is built to last.

 

Intimacy

And I’m not just talking about physical intimacy here. Intimate face to face dialogue. Truly caring about what has happened throughout their day. By the time my husband gets home from work I am truly spent but I try to stay up and listen attentively as he shares what’s happened in his day. We also have short phone conversations and text throughout the day.  Physical touch is impact for us too. I find that it increases my amorous feelings for my husband. He is better at initiating this than I am. When I am cooking at the stove, he slow comes up behind me and places one arm around my waist. It is a small gesture but is filled with love and tenderness.

 

Personality

It is so vitally important to understand how your mate is wired. You need to KNOW what makes them tick, why they say the things they do and make the decisions they make. You can have a better grasp on this by knowing their personality type. For more on personalities, please visit Personality Expert, Karen Ward by clicking here.

 

Communication

Keep the lines open. Lend a listening ear. Create an environment safe for sharing by not making judgements, being critical and  doing half as much talking. We have two ears and one mouth for a reason. This is one area I have to be diligent in practicing as I am prone to JUMP IN when my husband is speaking. This principle is articulated so well in Stephen Covey’s 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Seek first to understand then to be understood.

 

Love Language

I stated earlier that love is action. Dr. Gary Chapman has identified 5 ways in which we feel the love: Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time and Physical Touch. My love language is acts of service. Run an errand for me, help me with the laundry, and I feel the love. Yet my husband likes to give me gifts. One time in fact, he was so happy to have purchased me a really nice gift.  He called and said, “Ooo, I got you something very special.”  I responded, “I hope you didn’t buy me something stupid like a Coach bag.”  Well, that was exactly what he had purchased.  OUCH!  It turned into a big argument.  He was just trying to make me happy and I had snatched all the wind out of his sail.  We’ve had to learn from each other and adapt in this area. It was a growing process but after 15 years of marriage, I think we’ve hit our stride there. For more on the 5 Love Languages, click here.

 

Commitment

You have to be resolved to go the distance. My husband has helped me to embrace this truth. I used to think marriage was filled with only blissful days (ok, I generally walk around with rose colored lenses). My husband would tell me, there are going to be hard times and when they come we will weather them together. And sure enough the hard days came. My first thought was, “Uh un, I don’t have to deal with this.” But my husband reminded me, I told you this was coming. He said, ” We are going to deal with it. You aren’t going anywhere. Now let’s figure it out together.” Praise God for his resolve.

 

Trustworthy

Are you sowing seeds of trust or distrust in your marriage? Are you lending even the slightest appearance of sketchy behavior? If something even gives the appearance of being shady, remove it. Have a baseline that’s agreed upon by both of you for what is healthy and permissible i.e. who should befriend/not friend on social media.

 

Forgiveness

You will both make mistakes. Do not deadbolt the door of your heart. Open it to forgive. Love forgives.

 

Maturity

Some days you may just want to have a temper tantrum. They did this, so I have a right to act like a brat. Waa-waa-waa. Not fair. Ok now! At least one of you has to take the high road of maturity. Feel like you are always the one taking the high road? Well you may be. That’s why you are with that one, because God knew you were capable of taking the high road. Someone has to do it. Why not you?

 

Surrender Your Rights

Love demands that you yield your rights; your right to be right, your right to have what you want, to say what you want, to do what you want. Even if you are indeed correct about a situation, there are times you will need to give up your right to BE RIGHT. True love is not puffed up so remove some leaven, be humble and back off your need to show that you are right.

 

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

 

I pray that you make decisions on purpose that will positively contribute to the health and vitality of your marriage.  For my singles, carefully consider these sayings of mine and save them in the event you too join the ranks of us married folk.

 

As always, it is my prayer that you’ve been Inspired To Live Fully!

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13Feb
Tyra Lane-KingslandReal Life, Spiritual Life 15

What Becomes of the Brokenhearted?

In the 1966 hit record, What Becomes of The Brokenhearted, Jimmy Ruffin sings:

The fruits of love grow all around

But for me they come a tumblin’ down

Every day heartaches grow a little stronger

I can’t stand this pain much longer

I walk in shadows

Searching for light

Cold and alone

No comfort in sight

Hoping and praying for someone to care

Always moving and goin’ to where

 

Jesus was sent to heal the brokenhearted. He opened the scroll and read of himself saying:

 

“The Spirit of the Lord God is upon Me,

Because the Lord has anointed Me

To preach good tidings to the poor;

He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted” Isaiah 61:1

 

Jesus doesn’t want you living the above lyrics to the song. He gave his life that you might do the opposite. He wants you to be like a tree planted by the rivers of water that give fruit and are prosperous. He’s come to heal your heartache. He wants you to come out of the shadows and into his marvelous light. He is a comforter. He cares for you and wants you to cast your cares on him. He wants to lead you in paths of righteousness for his namesake. Line for line, Jesus is the answer to what becomes of the brokenhearted.

 

What becomes of the brokenhearted?

 

When their hearts are opened, they are healed.

 

I had a gaping whole in my heart. A space carved out with my mother’s name on it. I tried to fill that space with many things but they never quite seemed to fit: too big, too small, wide angles, sharp corners. They just didn’t fit. But thanks be to God he is a father to the fatherless and a mother to the motherless.

 

What does he want you to do in order to heal your broken heart?

 

RECEIVE

 

Open the door to your heart so that you can be healed, whole and loved.

 

Walking into a grocery store with my 4 year old was torture as the Valentine’s ‘eye noise’ was unbearable. He asked me, “Mommy why do they have Valentine’s Day everything? Mommy it’s too much cookies and candy and balloons.” I told him he was right that I love him and his siblings and his daddy so much everyday that we didn’t need to buy pink cookies to let them know we love them.

 

And the Father loves you more than that. He doesn’t have to dangle trinkets in front of your face that you’ll eventually discard. But every day he sees you, chooses you, knows you and calls you. Today, respond to him. He’s wooing you. His love is magnetic; it just draws you in. Don’t try to repel it, but like the strength of a neodymium magnet, be drawn in and fused together.

 

If you are brokenhearted for whatever reason, it will hamper your ability to love unconditionally. For more on agape love click here. Your capacity to love agape is only unleashed when you’ve 1st received from Him who loved you 1st. You cannot give that which you do not have. So Jesus is simply waiting for you to say yes. Perhaps you’ve said yes to let Him be your savior but have you said yes to receive his unconditional love for you? He is down, on bended knee. Imagine him as he was when he washed the disciples’ feet. He was modeling for us humility, servant hood and above all love.

 

If we are to experience the fullness of his resurrection power in our lives, we must accept that we are loved by him. We have been crucified with him yes. Now we have new life all because he loved us and freely gave himself for us.

 

I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me. Galatians 2:20

 

If you receive his love for you, won’t you tell him today. Below in the comments you can write your response to receiving his love. If you have challenges receiving his love, you can share that too so I can pray for you. If all the Valentine’s hoopla causes you more pain than joy, share that too so I can pray for you. In fact, right now I reach out to you with a big virtual hug. Can you feel it? The Lord’s got a hug waiting for you too.

 

 

In The Secrets of the Secret Place, Bob Sorge says this of our communion with the Lord:

He initiates, we respond

He gives, we receive

He impregnates, we bring to birth

He leads, we follow

He loves, we reciprocate

He rules, we reign with Him

 

Lord, I say yes. I open the door to my heart. I come running to you. I love you Lord.

 

To God be the glory for all that he has done.

 

As always, it is my prayer that you’ve been Inspired To Live Fully!

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12Feb
Tyra Lane-KingslandReal Life, Spiritual Life 2

Answer The Call

Hours on the phone, messages on social media, text, text and more text; such are the activities of many who are IN LOVE.

 

Do you remember the days before cell phones and social media? When you needed to connect with someone, you had to call on the home phone. And if it was your special someone, you just waited for them to call you. Then you’d talk on the phone for hours.  The heart palpitating, pulse racing excitement of a lover’s call.

 

Jesus longs to connect with you in the same way. He sees you, chooses you, knows you, loves you and now calls out to you. But unlike a love interest calling to get to know you, Jesus is already intimately acquainted with every detail of your life. No need to front or put on your ‘best self’ for him because he loves and accepts you just the way you are.

 

My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me. John 10:27

 

Because he 1st knew you and cared for you so deeply, it would only be fitting that he call you to join into a relationship with him. You are his chosen of course. His favored one. His beloved.

 

“I, the LORD, have called you to demonstrate my righteousness. I will take you by the hand and guard you, and I will give you to my people, Israel, as a symbol of my covenant with them. And you will be a light to guide the nations.” Isaiah 42:6

 

He’s not just randomly calling people out. Because his love for us is unique and personal to each individual, he calls us by name.

 

But now, O Jacob, listen to the LORD who created you. O Israel, the one who formed you says, “Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you. I have called you by name; you are mine. Isaiah 43:1

 

I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine. In this love relationship there is no fear of infidelity. You have the Master’s absolute trust. I attest that you can look back over your life and see evidence of his faithfulness time and time again.

 

And when you answer the call, your act of obedience has a ripple effect, reaching even to your children.

 

“The promise is for you and your children and for all who are far off—for all whom the Lord our God will call.” Acts 2:39

 

I thank you Jesus for calling me into a love relationship. If you haven’t done so, answer the call. You know how you can be when you see an unfamiliar number show up on your phone, you may give pause or even tell someone close by, “I don’t know who that is. Don’t answer it.” Well Jesus is calling. Don’t avert your eyes. He beckons you to come. He’s drawing even closer.

 

How will you respond?

 

All week we’ll be talking about Embracing Everlasting Love. For Part 1 on being Seen & Chosen click here. For Part 2 on being Known, click here and Pt 3 on being Loved click here. I pray you join me all week as we embrace a love so pure, a love that expects nothing in return, a love that is complete, a love that can only be found in Jesus.

 

As always, it is my prayer that you’ve been Inspired To Live Fully!

 

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11Feb
Tyra Lane-KingslandReal Life, Spiritual Life 2

How Do You Know You Are Loved

“Of all the hard times I’ve endured, ain’t nothing that real love can’t cure. Of all the hard times that I feel, ain’t nothing that real love can’t heal.”

 

This is how I know he loves me!

 

When I write God gives me things in pieces. So I had this list of scriptures of God confirming time and again that indeed he loves me.

 

But I paused. I said to myself, “Lord I know that I know these scriptures in my head. How do I move them from my head to my heart? How do I really know for myself that you love me?”

 

How do you know you are loved?

 

How do I know my husband loves me? Well it’s evident in his actions. He works tirelessly to provide for me. He fiercely protects me. He supports and encourages my dreams. He gives me the green light to pursue my interests. He is physically affectionate and doting. I have no doubt the dude loves me.

 

How do my children know I love them? Well I directly asked them that question and here’s how they responded:

~You always encourage me to do my best and you correct me when I do something wrong. T. Age 10

~You cook for me everyday and make me eat healthy food. S. Age 9

~You hug me and kiss me and call me sweet girl. A. Age 6

~Blank stare. Momm-meee! Then he rubs the back of my arm as he’s done since he was an infant E. Age 4

~No words, just a BIG kiss. Muah! J. Age 2

 

From this we can see love is a verb. There is action when there is love. So when I look over my life, I can clearly see the Father’s love action active in my life. His hand guiding me, his arms protecting and his embrace comforting me.

 

Can you look over the course of your life and find evidence of his unfailing love for you?

 

I can turn the pages in my life story and see his love:

~In the awkward, peculiar way my parents met and went on to create me

~Having very little supervision as a young child yet being protected and shielded

~Giving me a cousin that looked out for me

~Learning how to care for myself at a young age (right down to having to scrounge up loose coins to buy food)

~Ordering my steps so that I did well in school

~Covering me while I made stupid decisions in college

~Allowing me to meet my husband

 

And I could go on and on.

 

And some may think well if he loves us so much, why does he allow us to go through painful things? I don’t know that I have an exact answer as each of us has different paths that we must traverse but I do know that all the difficulties I’ve experienced have enabled me to handle and navigate life better. My pain and hurt has aided me in being able to adapt quickly, not take things so personally, a wider perspective on life situations, greater empathy, high tolerance and the ability to withstand storms. I know that he causes all things to work together for my good.

 

“Of all the hard times I’ve endured, ain’t nothing that real love can’t cure. Of all the hard times that I feel, ain’t nothing that real love can’t heal.”

These words are sung by an artist named Speech, one of the members of Arrested Development, a hip-hop group popular in the early 90’s. Yes, I know he loves me because his love has cured all my sickness and disease. His love has healed my hurt and my pain. His love gives me hope. His love mobilizes me to love stronger, try harder, and keeps me moving forward.

 

Since he IS love, he can’t help but to love you. He created you after all. Have you ever admired something you created and looked upon it with wonder and amazement?

 

After pushing my 1st born out of my body, I quickly pulled her up and laid her on my chest. After the nurses toweled her off, I pulled her back so I could look her over. In awe, I stared at this little human that I had a hand in creating. We stared into each other’s eyes and it was love at first sight. This is what the Lord feels when He looks at you and me.

 

God does not merely love, he IS love. And since his nature is that of love, he consistently demonstrates his love for us. Jesus is a love song.

 

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16

 

 

He has shown himself to me. My spiritual eyes have been opened and I can SEE his hand at work in my life.

 

 

Whoever has my commands and keeps them is the one who loves me. The one who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love them and show myself to them. John 14:21

 

 

He loves us in a way that is absolute. COMPLETE.

 

He Sees You. He Chooses You. He Knows You. He Loves You.

 

He loves you with an agape love, a love that is selfless, self-sacrificing, and unconditional expecting nothing in return.

 

How will you respond to his love today?

 

All week we’ll be talking about Embracing Everlasting Love. For Part 1 on being Seen & Chosen click here. For Part 2 on being Known, click here. I pray you join me all week as we embrace a love so pure, a love that expects nothing in return, a love that is complete, a love that can only be found in Jesus.

 

As always, it is my prayer that you’ve been Inspired To Live Fully!
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